MY BUCKET

Horrible

I wish I was perfect. Jesus calls me to be perfect, “Therefore you shall be perfect, just as your Father in heaven is perfect.” and yet everyday I feel farther and farther away. I need prayer. Thinking about my future plans and it seems as if I got it all together— be a missionary, work for the ministry (as a graphic designer), and enjoy life doing outdoor sports, traveling, and having a beautiful family— but then I wonder, well, what if I don’t make it? what if I fall, spiritually, and end up in darkness then all those plans will become a dread. I would hate missionary work, I would not like working for the ministry, outdoors would be just selfish motivation rather than appreciating Gods creation and my family would just crumble. I sure do feel like a complete sinner, more often than not! I don’t want to be who I was because that would just be stupid! God saved me from myself and now I feel like I’m falling right back into a slave for sin and yet I hear God whisper in my ear day and night. Come back, hold on, I’m almost here. I thank him for supporting me and being there for me all the time telling me that He will supply my needs and when I walk through the shades of death Jehovah is my stay. Prayer is my only lifeline I need to spend more time in the word. I must hold fast to the free gift of salvation, for that is life eternal! Save me God, in the name of Jesus. Amen.